If our love is a will to possess, it is not love.

2008-03-27T18:26:00.003+08:00

I don't know if it's alrdy obvious but...

I'VE MOVED.

So don't bother coming here anymore, & if you're really interested in reading (I doubt I have even have a fanbase....) then go hunt for my new online journal or send me a mail & we'll see.

Oh & I found out Gisele got fired from VS 'cause apparently she thought she deserved a higher pay 'cause she felt she was WAY tooo good for them (& I think that is SUPER cocky) so I guess she doesn't really have a good personality after all.

But besides missing her super duper professional catwalk, it ain't a big deal.

'Cause there's ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO (!!!!!!!!!)

Okay this is supposed to be a farewell post (I always get sidetracked!) so Ciao & Take care!

Xoxo,
Youjin.

2008-01-26T17:39:00.000+08:00

You've got a friend.

When I look back, I really find myself incredibly stupid for letting myself hurt so much. But then again, we all learn right?

'Cause after much sitting around in the quiet & dark places, I've come to realize that I'm am so very, damn blessed to have so many good friends around me who're willing to go through thick and thin with me, & stay by me everytime I cry so hard even if you guys don't understand why.

Thank you, really.
You all have a special place in my once broken but mended heart.

"You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend" - carol king.

2008-01-25T22:55:00.000+08:00

YOUJIN TO WORLD, HELLOOO!

Can anyone please tell me.

WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED TO THE VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOWS?!?!

Seriously, they stopped airing after '06.
It's been two freaking long years.

& I miss gisele bundchen!

Her bod is like, totally flawless & she's 5'10".
See!

Last I heard, she was dating(and is still) New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

& since I haven't been coming across her in magazine headlines, I assume she left on a jet plane. *sings the song*

Ah well, I guess I should just keep on watching "TAXI" if I wanna see her.

Anyways, school is really unpleasant & work is hectic.
I really do not have time for alot of things......

Okay. I think what I just mentioned above is total crap 'cause I'm blogging as we speak.

shrugs.

Maybe I should go now....

2008-01-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

Strange how hard it rains now.

Sigh.

I think I have a weird issue going on with Mrs loh(my chem/co-form teacher).

During PW discussion, she sort of talked to my group(gave us wrong feedback), & we didn't give her an enthusiastic response whatsoever so she stared at me.

& I felt super duper uncomfortable & I went like 'oh okay.....uh, can you uh, go away please?', and used my hand to like shoo her away.

Unexpectedly, she smiled & walked off, AND CAME BACK(!), and looked at me again like she really wanted to figure out what I had against her.
Hence causing me to curl up uncomfortably on my chair & face the opposite direction.(Huiqing gave me this confused look)

What's more, on the first day of school, she asked me to tuck in my shirt twice during the infamous haircheck, and when I looked at her for approval of my attire, she nodded unwillingly & POUTED.

So ya, despite being a discipline teacher, I find it hard to take her seriously 'cause she always seems to pout & shoot weird unreadable looks at me.

Heh.

But other than that, school is just plain boring.

Thank god I have drama practices to lighten me up. Yay. :D

2008-01-06T18:08:00.000+08:00

A place so familiar, yet so vague.

School's already started & I realize being Secondary 3 brings back all those secondary 1 memories I thought I lost.

It's like, when you first enter high school. Everyone around you seems to know everything, their confidence & oblivion makes you feel so lost & foreign.

The teachers are different, and like in sec 1, I'm just so scared of not getting every piece of assignment done on time & done right.

The 2 month holidary period seemed so short, and yet school feels like a long-lost place.
Ah, and there's the sec 1 orientation to add to this odd feeling. Sheesh.

Anyways, enough of that, I really think I should start revising my work seriously.

After the hols my brain is now in a different world & I've forgotten how to do mensuration, some algebra, and set notation, venn diagrams etc.

The only math topic I probably know how to do so well is PROBABILITY.

Okay, I hope I'm not the only loser. :P

& 'cause school is such a tedious & a fearful place, I thank god for my trustworthy IPOD.

Oh, & miss johnson.

Can't believe I've actually missed her so much. She's probably the only teacher who's capable of letting the sun shine through those threatening dark-grey clouds. :D

Oh, and I seriously think I need a camera with good shutter speed(no not those professional ones like Nikon or Canon). An ordinary one will do.
'Cause I'm taking less & less pictures, you could probably say none too.

& in my world, that is a unforgivable crime, which is equivalent to rape. X_X

Okay so see you guys arnd, I won't be in class on monday from 9.45 onwards though, i think. And I really hope the sec 1's will enjoy our play. (:

Although it's too bad we don't have ample time to do the Visa commercial.

I cannot show off my indian/taliban accent already. ):

2008-01-01T19:20:00.000+08:00

& the clock ticks like a bullet train.

I find it hard to acknowledge the unbelievable fact that it's already twenty-oh-eight.

School's starting, which calls for the uncalled; occasional bitching & gossiping(though it's quite intriguing), drama rehearsals, more and MORE homework, & worst of all.....CHINESE ORAL!

Anyways, it's only right to have resolutions for a new year so I'll type away.

[x] Stop making snide remarks right in front of peoples faces. Unconsciously, that is.

[x] Pour cereal into the bowl before pouring the milk.
[x] Try not to be angry with people who say cucumbers are tasteless.
[x] Enjoy chinese class & don't sleep during math.
[x] Don't be affected by joel's comments when I have a murderous zit on my face.

[x] Exercise more, eat less.
[x] Save up money for cd collection & friends birthday presents whose birthdays have already past more than 5 months ago.

[x] Don't make promises I know I cannot keep.
[x] Don't sing so loud in the shower(my parents always complain)
[x] Be the FIRST in the entire world to possess michelle's branch's latest album(though I highly doubt that's possible)

[x] Do a makeover for my room(new bad sheets, posters, pictures)
[x] Buy chesna an ipod cover to protect it from the gazillion scratches which mysteriously appear day after day.(I don't know how she does it, mine's still scratch-free!)

[x] Don't throw my bra on the floor when I come back from school.
[x] Remember not to talk after I eat garlic.
[x] Teach my brother the difference between 'than' & 'then'.
[x] Learn to smile more.
[x] Try not to show my excitement & desperation when I pass by the 'drinks corner' of cheers, 7/11, or worst still, THE SUPERMARKET.

[x] & last but not least, don't swear too much around my 5yrs old cousin. ;)

Oh btw, my little cousin has an aussie accent which I find amusing, coming out from the mouth of an asian.

I remember times where she always goes like, I'm a good girl that's right! Haha.

So yeah, I'm done here.

And this picture is here to tell ya'll that youjin is happy and she'll be looking forward to seeing you when school reopens.

lovess! <3

p.s I think all my white bras are in the washing machine. oh no, how?!

2007-12-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

Let's go to the hills where the outlines are clear.

Alot has happened lately.
& after all this I really wonder why so many people try to be someone else they aren't.

I really wonder why they care so much, too much, in fact, about what other people think of them.

Why is it so important?

I mean if they really can't accept us for who we are, then hell with em'.

There are especially a countless number of young people who try to act so mature & they give themselves away 'cause they're just trying so hard.

Why try to be mature when you're not?
We all grow up eventually & people who are older understand that they simply just don't share the same views on things as the younger ones.
So it's completely fine with being childish, 'cause the truth is we all are no matter what our age.

Why do we even want to be someone else in the first place?

'Cause I just feel that we don't benefit anything at all.

Be someone you're not, and that's the beginning of living a lie.
& life becomes so hard & annoying 'cause we're so conscious of every move we make, every sentence we speak.

And now, 'cause of the insecurity in people, 'cause they're so many people who try to be someone else, I really don't know if you're the person I thought I knew.

If you lived a lie, then so did I, 'cause I was a part of your life as well.

Sometimes I ask myself whether you really cared about me, or loved me, for that matter.
And I end up in a pool of confusion & pain knowing that the answer could be a no as much as it could be a yes.

I don't know who I can trust anymore. I don't know what to believe 'cause all this contradiction is a pain in the ass.

Even though it may be easier to not put your faith, trust & belief in anything to avoid disappointment, no matter how painful, irritating or weird the truth may be, it's something we all need to know.

So please stop hiding & come out.
Come out not as someone else, but as you.
& no matter how much you've disappointed me, I really wanna find you.

Even if you may turn out to be a bitch, a liar, a pretender, I still wanna find you.

I really wanna find you.

2007-12-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

BOO!

Alright guys, say hello to my pet hammy. Her name's summer & she recently gave birth to 6 pups but I'm only interested in selling 4 of em'.

So if any of you guys are willing to commit your time & care to these adorable little(& sometimes, irritating) creatures, then contact me & i'll fill you in on the details & price. (:

ANYWAYS. I found a really interesting picture that has TOTALLY changed my view of pigs.

Y'know when I retire from my career, I'll make sure I migrate to Nashville in Tennesse & live in a farm by a calm river where I'll smoke weed(okay, maybe not) & look after my pigs!

I guess that's all for today.

And for any of you guys interested in tattoos, i'll post about 4 shots that I took at the tattoo exhibition(the story behind each tattoo!) quite sometime ago, so yeah, you'll wanna check that out.

okiee, gotta go work on my chords bbye!

P.S and even though liverpool lost the match against Manchester Utd, I would have to say that liverpool definitely played the better football.

P.P.S and torres really sucked. sorry huiqing. "/

2007-12-11T11:36:00.000+08:00

And all you wanted was somebody who cares.

This is an edited post.

Those of you who got to read the initial one are lucky bitches.

Anyways, I'm sorry.

Even though everything seems to have been solved, I have my doubts.

'cause I don't fully understand you.

How can I believe what I can't fully understand?

2007-11-19T21:44:00.000+08:00

hello world!

how have you been?

well, I'm pretty fine, just hoping and dreaming.

oh how the clock ticks so fast.

It's been so long but I haven't had a blast!

But tomorrow will be different,

cause there's a drama chalet.

But while I'm gone, world,

I hope you'll be okay!

2007-10-29T15:14:00.000+08:00

heh heh heh....

In the car, on the way home after parents meeting.
DAD: Okay youjin, you're a very good girl, very responsible. Papa will get you the apple.
ME: apple?
DAD: macbook pro.
ME: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, truth is I don't know if a normal person should be this happy.

BUT.

it's my first laptop! Plus, it comes with a free ipod nano 4GB(but I'm gonna bargain for the 8GB one. sure can one!)
http://www.apple.com/macbookpro/
http://www.apple.com/ipodnano/features.html

Though it'd definitely be so much better if it came with a free IPOD TOUCH!
http://www.apple.com/ipodtouch/features.html

But I'm too broke to get one so.....
Eh, but that doesn't mean you can take this opportunity to crush me by getting it & flaunting it.

Unless ofcourse, you want your nose contorted. ;)

Anyways, HAPPY HOLIDAYS YO!

2007-10-24T18:24:00.000+08:00

MICHELLE'S BACK ON THE ROAD.

Welcome everyone!!

Thanks for stopping by.

I've started working on the new album a few weeks ago and it's great to have a place where I can come and keep you posted (literally!)I've got a ton of songs already and everything has kinda found it's own sound. I don't know what to call it.

I'll let you guys decide. I'm hoping to let you hear bits and pieces as we get further along.

It's been so long since I've been just plain MB. I'm so excited I can't even tell you.

Rumor has it, I'll be out on the road starting as early as February with the album being released shortly after that. I can't wait to get out and not only play new songs but also play so many old songs I haven't had the chance to play over the last few years.

Thanks for the love and support.

Be well.

Michelle

Source: http://michellebranch.com/

way

WAY.

beyond

ecstatic.

After what seemed like decades of waiting, she's finally back!

I can't wait for the album mann. Really hope she tours Asia though, then I could probably have some ice cream with her.

HAHAHA.

Okay, whatever. I'm like SO happy.

Anyways, I think, THINK, i'll be blogging more often now. I mean often.

You know, since michelle's got me high & since FREEDOM has been released from the gates of the ends of the earth WHOO!

See you guys around!

2007-07-07T19:40:00.000+08:00

Tyler hilton - when it comes

sometimes, well most times, I just hate journeys. They're tedious and the only reason you start one is 'cause you want so badly to get to a certain destination.

I just don't know when I'm ever gonna reach mine, or where it's gonna be, or if the journey to it'll ever end.
& it's not a good thing 'cause it's making me give up on trying so hard for the things i wanna possess (I just want them so badly!)
& what's worse is that I have to do what I really don't wanna do to get those stuff. plus, I don't know if those "stuff" are gonna do me any good.
bah, someday you guys'll understand, I guess.

Or.

Maybe someday's already happened.

I really wanna meet you & let you know you're the reason I'm trying to get somewhere. You're the reason there's meaning in my life.

2007-06-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

Life's a stage, and we're all actors.

Here are the very few designs/drafts, as promised. I don't like to say this but, COPYRIGHTED STUFF AYE? Alright, looks like I got the message across.(:

Concerning all the designs, drama members, do feel free to do any "modification" to them. We have to work till we get the best, don't we?

This one's for the front of the shirt.

Purposely put this up in case you guys wanted to work on it. :D

I kinda like this. Could be used for the back of the shirt, and ya might wanna consider inserting a phrase below it. Personally, I think
" The theatre is so endlessly fascinating because it's so accidental.
It's so much like life." ~Auther miller.
would be good.

Or we could simply put I AM A DRAMA QUEEN/I AM A DRAMA KING, obviously, depending on your gender.

If you can't decide which sex you are, no worries. There'll also be a I AM A DRAMA QUING version. *wide grin*

And this......nah this ain't no design. It's just something I scribbled on the paper when I was bored and guess what, it turned out pretty awesome leh!

p.s for design no.3, techie means technology freak. It's not related in any possible way to the crew unless......whatever, it's just not. It's just there for uhhh....I dunno what it's there for. EXTRA???

2007-05-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

You're the one mistake I really didn't mind.

Sorry to those reader's out there 'cause I really have nothin' much on my mind now. so I guess I'll be doin out points.

- I'm as happy as a horse 'cause exams are over.

- I've been baking alot of cakes recently 'cause uhh, I like the mixture. Very creamy and slimy and ugh, just, HEAVEN!

- Recently, I've been spending loads of time abnormally, excessively, watching alot of tv, and wasting time.

- Alright, this might sound desperate but my mom, daddy & brother will be on vacation for a week. okay fine not my dad but he's gonna be home only at 10p.m and gone early in the morning for work. so someone pleasepleasePLEASE consider comin over to my house to keep me company during those lonely hours?

- It's been 5 weeks since I signed up for this class with really adorable kids in it, and not only have I gave this 5 year old boy a punk hairstyle(apparently he likes it 'cause whenever his hair's flat he'd take my hand indicating me to uh, put it back up. cute right!), I've actually bonded with a couple of them.

- And yes, I have to be a little childish around them but it just simply makes me incredibly happy to see them smile. & I love it when I manage to carve a smile on their pretty little bouncy faces hhahah.

- Oh, & I plan to work out alot during the hols. So for those of you who wanna eradicate some of those jiggly things hanging around weird body parts of yours *ahem*, you're not alone.(:

This is practically useless 'cause I'll never identify the person I'm referring to, but it makes me feel a hell lot better to type my feelings out. So please, do excuse me.

I've been thinking alot lately, & though you're the one mistake in my life that I really didn't mind, I hope you're out of my head as soon as possible. 'Cause the thought & sight of you are preventing me from doin alot of things that would actually brighten up my days.
In case you didn't know, I'm enjoying life now. & I will not stand still and let you take that away from me.
And all this while I thought you were hurting me, until one of my friends made successfully pointed out the fact that I was doin' the same to you.
I still remember that one last hug we had. If only I knew it would be our last one, I wouldn't have got myself involved in a first one.
You've taught me alot of things nobody could have ever had, and I really appreciate that. You've taught me that good people aren't all that good afterall.
But most importantly, I've learnt something from you, and that is, to never get myself attached to something I don't know would last.
You didn't last. Now that's a shame, isn't it?

2007-04-27T19:27:00.000+08:00

Let those vague memories play in your head.

So by now, I assume everyone has heard the yummy piece of news. drama got gold and guess what, we're the few 6 who actually clinched the gold award out of 150 schools! COOL MANN. (alethea i used your famous quote!)
Anyways, so yeah I'm like as proud as a peacock. whatever. I'm proud of drama.

AND MYSELF. heh heh.

Okay, so a few days back, I went mugging with janice and chesna at changi airport, as well as to coffee bean with Huiqing, chesna, janice, laura, anne and junie.

Had like loads of fun. It was more laughing than mugging. hahah.

I think we turned rob thomas's little wonders from emotional to uhh, what do you call that, AH, tikopek-ish.
So now I kinda get the heeby jeebies when i listen to that song. weird.

Ah well, I'm really grateful that god gave me these wonderful friends. Without them, life just wouldn't be worth living at all.

ALRIGHT. PICTURES!

See the chaos? yes that thing with the sweater on the head.

Group photo. It turned out badly 'cause jingrong is bad, BAD! in handling the camera. And sorry to say this but, janice, you look kinda stimulated in this shot. HAHAHHA.

See that face? Janice was giving anne a hard time. I KNEW IT!

At the airport.

Janice.

AND JANICE.

At alethea's nice nice house.

Model wannabe, anyone?

THE SWEET TIMES WE HAD.(:

Still remember the tantockseng performance? Hahaha.

BYGONE!

& here we are. Strong, and moving forward together, as one.

2007-04-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

Random thoughts.

RELIENT K IS BACK! yeah with their new album five score and seven years ago.so I went to check out their new single must have done somethin' right.
I didn't quite like it at first but after listening to it several times, I finally got the hang of the flow and I kinda like the song now.(:

Was chattin' with chesna earlier on, which made me realize somethin'.

I've yet to spend the 600bucks that's happily sittin' in my pink so-called piggy bank(it’s actually an ordinary box where I keep my savings in).
So we have decided to go on a shopping spree sometime arnd this week and I DO plan to say my last farwell to that 600moolah.

Okay. Anyways, I watched BABEL yesterday, and no it's not some blur pirated dvd which gives you shit subtitles like for instance when the actual sentence is “hey, let's go out for dinner tonight”, they completely weave it into “hey, let's fuck tonight”.

Seriously, it’s happened before.

Okay, back to the topic.

Yeah, I watched it, and as some of you know, some scenes are just uuuber obscene 'cause apparently, there's this sick girl in the movie who likes to show off her umm....*ahem* hairy monster. Really. EWW.

BUT.

That's not what the whole fuss is 'bout. 'Cause there were so many erotic scenes, my mom kept fastforwarding, and I REALLY couldn't follow the story 'cause she skipped multipal parts of the damn movie(you know what I mean.)

And there was one nude scene where my mother took a newspaper and WIPED OUT MY ENTIRE VISION. -.-"
And so randomly I said this.

ME: sigh. We all grow up one day anyway!
MOM: YOUJIN?!
ME: OKAY. OKAY.

>.>

So eventually, I thought the movie was stupid and long-winded. and too obscene, DUH.

I don't know why but after watching that flick, I was totally whacked and I think I was suffering from a slight migraine.
But my mom wanted to read her bible(one time I asked my dad why she read the bible so frequently and my dad said 'cause she wants to learn how to be god. LOL!)
so she left the lights on and I CANNOT sleep with the light on no matter how zonked out I am okay.
I know it’s kinda weird but yeah, I’m like that.

And I blogged while havin’ a migraine so all you readers better be thankful I did so. If you’re not, I swear to god I’ll punch your boobs.

Ah whatever, guys have boobs too. ;)

2007-04-12T19:57:00.000+08:00

Updating...updating...

Here's somethin' I found amusing.

Was on the MRT to outram park so i could switch trains to go to chinatown to sign up for some dance courses.

I found a seat near the door, and next to me was a couple, or what I presumed LOOKED like a couple. One was an englishmen, maybe say, around 60years old?(I know that 'cause of the terrible wrinkles) and another, a typical chinese singaporean lady probably in her late 40's.

And as I was busy replying rachael's text messages, I heard this(this is all I remember).

Englishmen: you should cover your mouth when you yawn, dear.

lady: why? for what larh, no need.

Englishmen: well, 'cause you don't want people to see what you had for breakfast this morning.( he said in my very coveted british accent.)

lady: how will they know what I had for breakfast? crazy.

englishmen: well, you left clues.

lady: really? where arh?

the lady immediately takes out her cheap, pink, plastic compact mirror and starts looking at her teeth, scrutinising every single tooth.

lady: where got larh! talking nonsense. I brushed my teeth before I came out.

englishman: *sighs* I meant metaphorically, of course.

At that, I managed a slight grin as I turned my head towards their direction and tried to fake looking at the mrt exit so I could get a better look at that dumb woman. HAHAH.
The english are PERFECT in mastering the art of subtle yet cutting remarks, sarcasm and wit. They can insult you without you even realizing it.

I really respect that alot. I think it's a much better way of dealing with arrogant, fugly, bitchy, angry(well you get the picture) people. Instead of yelling. heh.

Alright, irrelevant. Back to the couple.

Sometimes, I wonder how two very different people can live with each other.

A teenage vow in a parking lot - till tonight do us part.

2007-04-07T15:57:00.000+08:00

'Cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies.

Maybe it's time I forgot those who left me behind, and start paying more attention to those who are and always have been here for me.
Maybe it's time I learnt to appreciate what I have.
Maybe it's time I opened up myself to others again.
Maybe it's time I moved on.
Maybe, maybe.

2007-04-04T19:41:00.000+08:00

But it's better if you do.

I really don't know what I'm here for. 'Cause right now, I'm totally whacked and I can't think of what to blog.

Ah, let's start with how murderous tests can be. I cannot live a week, without havin' a teacher come into the class and announce test dates. Sometimes I really wish I were like hiro from heroes so I could stop time, and then I could study mug for everythin' and start time once I've mashed everythin' into my head. Which obviously would not come true.

Anyways, drama rehearsals have been hectic. And the make up makes almost everyone look completely unrecognisable. And I don't know how im gonna face a whole audience for arts night lookin' like that. I just hope they don't cackle or whatsoever 'cause it'll really hurt alot.

Oh and a few days ago, kah heng and gang literally twisted the entire play. From emotional, to erotic. Oh, kah heng and I sort of made up weirdly funny actions for the song torn by natalie imbruglia and I've been havin' loads of fun flaunting those moves mann haahh.
Which reminds me, radio broadcast sucked a hell lot today. Now I realize how cliche that sounds lol.

And I just found out daniel and I drink yakult almost everyday! LOL. my favourties are the green, red and purple ones. Alright whatever.

SYF is tml and I really hope everyone puts in their utmost effort despite how embarrasing it may be. And even if we don't get gold despite doin' our best, it won't matter. As long as we all know we did our best and worked unitedly as one team, we should be satisfied. And after syf, I'm NOT goin' back to school. hell no. I REALLY HAVE TO GO OUT. MOVIE MOVIE FUN FUN FUNNNNN!

He heard my cries, my desires, and did what was best for me.

2007-03-29T19:46:00.000+08:00

Not a bed of roses.

So a few days ago I met alex at the swimming pool, and when I saw him, I really felt like avoiding him 'cause, chesna, you know how much he can talk and won't stop, that kinda thing right? BUT, he spotted me and started talking talking & TALKING.

Anyways, for you guys who don't know him, he's this austrian guy(not hott even though is a blonde. or isit brown?) who likes german opera, plants, fossils, chemistry and weird music. He's a very "prehistorical" guy who came up to me a couple of days ago and said "hey youjin, guess what? I'm more modern now. I actually like ABBA!" I tell you, I could have died right there, RIGHT THAT MOMENT.
Though I have to admit we did have a good time talking, mostly 'bout how we changed. This is all I can remember.

ALEX: y'know, you've really changed alot. you used to have this scary fringe hanging down your forehead completely covering your eyes and now you look, surprisngly, quite refined. Though it was quite recently that I saw you with black nails.

ALEX: And, though hard to admit, you're.....dainty now, and you actually give in!

ME: what?!

ALEX: yes. you're like oh is the water cold? plus, you're less tom-boyish. and now you actually comment on people. I mean though you used to praise me there would always be something negative in that praise.

I swear, I never knew I did that.

ALEX: oh, and you strike me as this british, or american kinda girl. You just lost that singaporean touch. When you speak its like this big gush of wind blowing me away. But somethings never change. You're still as pessimistic as ever.

ME: ah yes. somethings never change. YOU never change. And seriously, ABBA? move on alex, move on.

So yeah, I guess only others can really have the right to say whether you've changed or not 'cause we're pretty much all oblivious to the changes in our character.
Oh, and something happened last night that really freaked me out.

I wanted to watch that jesus video and all of the sudden my phoned hanged. I tried to switch it off but that didn't work either. so like I always do, I took out the freakin' battery and when I put it back guess what happened, MY PHONE COULD NOT WORK.

I repeated that action several times, but to no avail.

And apparently, I got really scared 'cause my phone wasn't exactly cheap.
Therefore, I did the most eccentric thing anyone would do. But then again, desperate times call for desperate measures.
So yeah, I sorta communicated with god. okay fine, I APOLOGISED.
"Dear heavenly father, I'm very sorry I'm very sorry! I promise I'll try not to watch that video again! So please please please make my phone work!"
THEN, I press the ON button and wait for 5 seconds and *POOF* my phone works!
So now I really think god was like tryin' to teach me a lesson. lol.
OH AND.

THANK YOU CHESNA, SIEW JEAN, AND ALETHEA FOR KEEPING ME COMPANY WHILE I WAITED FOR MY DAD TO PICK ME UP!

no one can replace you guys. hahah.<3

2007-03-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

Let's rewind.

Hmm. Alright, let's see.

21 JAN.
Drama went to CJC to rehearse 'cause SYF would be held there. I think the fact that our voices can echo through the theatre is just so awesome. And oh gawd, the lights are really cool too. All those shades of green blue and red. wahhh. When I came back to class many ppl asked where I went to and I got kinda fed up havin' to answer the same atuff all over again, that I told them I went to a hotel.
OH, which reminds me, camillia sent me this video via bluetooth to me and it's somethin' 'bout jesus christ and no it's not one bit holy(Y'know what I mean) so if you guys wanna watch it, tell me and I'll link you there or....there's always bluetooth right?

Anyways, I really hope ya'll buy the tix for arts night. Trust me, it's a performance you wouldn't wanna miss from drama. The play is damn touching. And yeah, I wanna see the soft side of you guys. heh heh.
I've got an offer, btw . The first 5 to buy from me get 4 bucks discount, and the next five get 2 bucks discount. Might sound little but then again, it's better than nothin' right? SO HURRY!

OHOH, I got to paint the planks today and at the same time get very high. 'cause not only was there paint, there were markers, and TURPENTINE.
*shows stoned face*

22 JAN.
No D & T today! WHOOOO!!! But there was chinese compo to do, which evidently sucked and sucks. Plus miss liping spends half an hour to tell us how we should write it. Ridiculous, no? And Mrs lian was absent too, so we had another free period! And rax was hyper today in the lab. But isn't she always? sigh.

Anyways, I was half dead during science. My eyes were like literally half open and I was sleeping while sitting up with a very good posture, and slowly my body swayed to my right and left before my head went crashing down on the table. I know! I looked so stupid okaye. Hopefully, no one saw.

Met drama after school and kah heng and I walked like jesus(in the video) while crossing the road. Hahaha was supersuper hilarious. And i think a few drama members, especially me and kah heng, kept on repeating the lyrics which made me crack up even more.
Oh, not to mention that I showed miss jean, my drama instructor the video.

ME: miss jean, can I show you somethin'? It's umm, a video.
MISS JEAN: Isit gross? *shows a mischievious yet disgusted face*
ME: NO. It's 'bout jesus.
MISS JEAN: *face brightens up* show me!

LOL? NO? LOL LARH! so adorable hahah. And then after that she shouted across the room to me and said ey can send to me via bluetooth? Then I nodded my head while laughing. heh. Anyways, that's 'bout all that I can remember. SO......

I WILL SURVIVE!

2007-03-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

So I was goin' through my photo gallery, and was reminded of the times. When almost everythin' was different. Like now. And then this question found its way into my head and it's very cliche and might sound boring but I realized it could be kinda intriguing, at a different perspective. What will things be like in the near future?

Y'know, like what class I would be in, whether my friends would become a different person, or whether I would. And who would sit beside me in class, who's gonna hate me, who's gonna forget 'bout me and move on with their own life. Whether I'd be takin' triple science, or if I'm gonna be dating mR.niccce guy.

And the questions get uglier as you ponder, and go deeper with the possibilties.

Who knows, you might loose your friends or friendships may get burned on the sides. Or we'll probably turn into egoistical bitches/backstabbers/poseurs. And then we start to be very careful in the steps we take, in fact, sometimes TOO careful and we end up in the ditch in a somewhat miserable state.

Yeah, sometimes holding on too tightly is worse than not holding on at all.

And what if you don't get what you want? In fact, what if you get the things you DON'T want? What if the things that were made were signed, sealed and delievered and you could do NOTHIN' to get it back or change it?

I dunno, I guess its just, weirdly scary, and tragic.

It's just scary how one tiny change can result in a huge difference.

Ah well, I just pray that everythin' goes the way it should be. As long as we don't cry buckets or smoke weed lol.

I never knew you came with a package deal. If I did, I wouldn't have bought you or even went close to you, for that matter. But now, I guess I'm holding on by lettin' go of you. It's hard, but I'll figure it out. And with sincerity, I bid you farewell. Trust me, it wasn't easy to endure the hurt you unintentionally made me go through. It never was.

2007-03-12T20:58:00.000+08:00

Hard love.

So daniel and I were talking 'bout love, in a way, and 'bout friendships.
Not good friendships, but ones which are kinda strained, and ones which are on the verge of becoming strained. And I guess that's made me acutely aware of things I was once oblivious to. Or just more aware, maybe.
Daniel said somethin' that really clinged onto my mind 'cause I could never admit how true it was.
sometimes when you pass by this lost friend, you want to say hi, but you just can't, and you walk by like strangers. it does happen.

Which makes me think of the times where I smile or laugh just to masquerade all the hurt I feel. It might make me seem strong 'cause I'm not vulnerable on the outside, but I guess all it means is that I'm simply a coward or a liar. But then again, things are never easy right? And a life with no problems or hurt, practically isn't that much of a life.

Ah well, people keep on telling me our friendship is becoming strained, but on the contrary, I actually think that the fact that we're in two different classes are making us closer, and making us treasure each other more. I know people may call me miao miao and all that but I guess I'm your miao miao. yeapp, yours. And pardon me, but I'm feeling incredibly emo right now.

Anyways, recently I read this book, it's called hard love. And I managed to dig these lyrics and phrases out from it. And guess what, they actually ring true.

"natural elements become more important to you, people including yourself can never be as trustworthy as nature 'cause people don't understand how much they need each other."

Yes, it's hard love, but it's love all the same,
Not the stuff of fantasy but more than just a game.
And the only kind of miracle that's worthy of the name,
For the love that heals our lives is mostly hard love.

2007-03-11T13:10:00.000+08:00

HAHAH?

AH! siew jean finally passed me the photo. One of my favourites@!

2007-03-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand.

Sec two camp was more like a jian-fei competition, seriously. Had to like run to and fro and I could feel my fats LITERALLY jiggling. What I loved best was of course, the fun-filled bus rides. And 2-1 was like throwing insensitive remarks at one another. All those boy-girl shit mann. I guess sometimes people are just so hyper, they don't know how insensitive they can be. And that includes me as well.
Whatever.

The bus rides were still awesome. Woonlynn, ying tian, ethel, xinyi, huiqing and I set at the back in one straight row laughing and all. Damnit, they kept calling me miao miao with this chinese touch to it. shrugs. And I remember vividly that huiqing pulled my sleeve down that I could see half my bra. And she claimed she'd kiss and rub my head if I ever had depression and shaved my head like britney. poor britney.

Blasting of the rocket was pretty tedious. And you know that orange cap, aka head of the rocket? Xinyi claimed it was her breast. Therefore, whenever I had a chance, I would BOOBnap it. And I scared her when all the lights were out. hahah, mann do I loooove to hear her scream. laugh. screamlaugh. lol whatever you call it. haouhuoaupdhupfsaugfsyg.

Oh, and changi airport tour was pretty cool too. We kept on making jokes 'bout vibrators. eek. And I ate a tad too much burger king like wth. Thank god someone jio-ed me to go ecp with em'.

That's 'bout all that I can remember now. There's definitely more stuff that went on but I'm almost entirely wiped out. bah.

And I was late for drama! Could tell that miss khek was pretty pissed. Sorry! But I really needed my lollipop. heh. Btw, I think I was totally freaked out when I saw my progress report. So freakin' atrocious.

Alright. Recently, life has been like a movie. Y'know, like I'm sittin' on the sofa, chewing my popcorn, yeah, watching others lives passing me by like a train. It's like, I can see what's goin on but they can't 'cause they're in the dark. And it's kinda sad y'know, seeing all those stuff happening to them with them not knowing a thing.

And in the end, the truth comes tumbling down on them like a church bell on a caterpillar. Argh I dunno, it's just, simply sad watching, in detail, them lose all the things they had, drop after drop.
I wonder how many knives it takes to pierce you before you become numb to it all. Immune to pain, if that's how you wanna put it.
Ah well.

Keep holding on.
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Just stay strong.
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you.
There's nothing you could say,
Nothing you could do,
There's no other way when it comes to the truth.
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.

2007-02-24T20:10:00.000+08:00

I heard your voice echo through the corridors.

Followed it.

But by the time I reached there,

you were gone.

And I almost felt like breaking down,

'cause I hadn't seen you for what seemed like decades.

But it would be of no use,

'cause I know myself.

I know I wouldn't have been able to utter a word to you.

Nor look you in the eye.

But I miss you, friend.
I really do.

2007-02-21T21:04:00.000+08:00

Stranger it seems, yeah.

Went to stella's house yesterday. its like we shared our knowledge with each other. benefited quite alot 'cause my math kinda sucks. things are starting to get weirdly better for me tho chesna seems a tad too testy these days. Maybe I just think so 'cause she's always smiling and all hahh.
AND I LOOOOOVE CHRIS SLIEGH FROM AMERICAN IDOL. wait. or isit sleigh? bah whatever. I LOVE HIM!
oh and I visited my neighbour's other house in sentosa cove and was like ooooooo there's actually a marina there and some boats were like so damn luxurious. and i was like okaye, I must get a promising pay in the future, and buy myself a boat! sparkly white BIIIIIG one!
And for the first time in a long time, I actually had drops of sweat meandering down my face CONTINUOUSLY during PE. oh and I had a puffy red face too. =.=
That Mr Kang larh! bully me until I was havin' trouble breathing. But I had fun playin' badminton with huiqing. badminton. fun. eccentric!
AND, oh my gawd, I like country music! whoa mann its like, everything's so weird now. Literally.
ALRIGHT. PICTURE TIME.

Teejay in his dad's shoes. Adorable.

And this is the seaview from their house.

nnnnng yingtian.

Yes. This, is pingling. heh.

I dunno what she's doin' but whatever. I like this shot. :DD

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.

You became the light on the dark side of me.

Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

But did you know,that when it snows,

My eyes become large and,

The light that you shine can be seen.

2007-02-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

I <3 HEROES!

The super powers and mysteries are just so awesome that I can't stop watching. One of them has cell regeneration/self-healing powers. And one has double personality. It's like when she doesn't know what do the other personality will take over her body and overcome her problems. COOL RIGHT! and there's this police officer who can read minds and hear voices from afar. ohoh, and one can paint the freakin' future!

lol you really have to watch it. every wednesday on starworld.

They do show repeats so no worries 'bout missin' it.

Anyways, watched ghost rider yesterday. And I can't believe some think that nicholas cage is hot. I think he's average tho he has a well built bod.

lol. And I realize I've been eating alot lately. okaye youjin, let's start concentrating on exercising instead of those chocolate cupcakes and spinatella pizza. oh mann it seems hard hahah.
ah well. I think faith 21 is not bad afterall 'cause it's finally noisy and ALIVE.

And I'm not slacking anymore. I understand the math formulas and how to use them. finally. And I comprehend those science theories as well. OH AND I GOT B3 FOR CHINESE! score! heh heh. But I was short of a mark and a half to reach A2. Never in my life have a scored an A for chinese. Hope to break the record this time.

Dad said dancing, as a career would be ephemeral. But he said he wouldn't interfere with my life. And accept my decisions. 3 cheers for daddy lim!

Stella had cramps this morning but still felt like calling me lol?
STELLA: I wanna dye my hair green.
ME: lol really? okaye I'll go with you. I wanna dye mine blue.
*both giggle*

And in the air the fireflies.

Our only light in paradise.

We'll show the world they were wrong.

And teach them all to sing along.

2007-02-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

Today was simply bizzare.
The skies were of a color I had never seen before.
And the world felt alien to me.
But yet somehow, very familiar.

2007-02-09T18:49:00.000+08:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Miss Li Ping found rachel's blog. I'm not so sure whether blogs are a problem, or big mouths who have nothin' better to do. Anyways, feels like its been a long week with all those tests and hectic drama rehearsals. damn, I can't do hip hop for chingay 'cause drama happens to clash with it. DARN IT. argh.
The teachers had to change our places again.
And where I'm sitting has made me almost forget the meaning of fun. Seriously, the silence there, IS KILLIN' ME. And for my home econs practical, I put too much oil.

okaye fine, maybe a lil' too much of everythin'.

And suphaphat and I were like running ard the corridors and pinching each other's noses, lol had so much fun.

Mrs yuen arh, has this weird thing goin' on with her grand entry which consists of her cars VROOMING through the quadrangle. lol. people have been talkin' 'bout it. Maybe she has to stop doin' that before someone develops a grudge against her or scratches her car heh.

Anyways, I'm doin' average for almost all my tests. Not to mention that I flunked my math test real bad. jeez, I need to start workin' harder, really.

I wanna go to faith 3-1 'cause I heard it's gonna be the ONLY class offering triple science. And hope I do well when the O's come. Need to make it to ACJC!

Alright, tag replying time.

STELLA: I'm not bhb, and I'm not doong doong eh okaye! gdasoyigdsyosy.
XINYI: hi xingyi! hahah, you've tortured me enough alright. And jeez, don't start to hate me too kaye. And I'll tag and link you soon. see ya ard <3!
RACH: there will NOT be a love letter.
ZANN: lol, I guess the modelling is over already. And chesna, chad will never be there.
RACH: I'll try find a way to make my charms work on mrs yuen and li ping so we can sit together again. HAHAHAHAHAH.
MARK: yeah sure boy!

2007-02-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

SPINNING IN A TIME MACHINE.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful,
Stop me and steal my breath.
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky,
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated.
I'll hang from your lips.
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.
I'll be your crying shoulder.
I'll be love suicide.
I'll be better when I'm older.
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
Rain falls, angry on the tin roof.
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.

ALRIGHT. To start with, so many things have happened, so many things have changed. Whether for the better or worst, they have, unexpectedly. Believe it or not, I'm actually beggining to LIKE school. I look forward to school EVERY morning@!

Anyways, I guess it hurts when the ppl you love start to forget you. They might have said they wouldn't forget you despite distance but maybe we have to start to learn how to let the poisonous acid of reality run through our veins.
For now, all I can do is hope and pray that they don't.
It's hard to let go of somethin', and I loathe havin' to do it.

God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.

2007-02-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

HAWW-TTTTT!

Went to vivo with family today bought 2 tops for forever 21. and no that's not what im gonna waste my time blogging 'bout. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE MODELS MANN. OH MY GAWD THEY'RE LIKE SOOOO FREAKIN' TALL AND THE MEN ARE JUST SO HOT. EVEN THE WOMEN.
AND CAN YOU BELIEVE I WAS SO OBSSESSED WITH ONE OF THE FEMALE MODS THAT I ACTUALLY WAITED FOR HER TO COME BACK ON STAGE FOR 30MINS?!
oh shit. I think I'm gay already. see the power of her looks? can turn you les one. LOL. but honestly, she's really beautiful. don't know how long their gonna be at vivo promoting the brand 'river Island' tho.

REPLY TO TAGS.
hiro: yeah, hopefully. and yes i get to earn 250. easy money.
KIM: HAHAH THANKS FOR TAGGING LOVE YOU!
YI ENN: I don't think so. are you?
WEI MEI: yeah i deleted them 'cause they made me reminesce 'bout some unpleasant things that happened in the past. anyways, thanks for tagging. I'll do the same.
ETHEL: hey buddy! I'll link you soon hahah, cya in school!

I wanna be your friend!

2007-01-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

'Cause the scars run so deep.

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

[Chorus]
'Cause I
Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.
I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

[Chorus]

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience.

c'mon, don't you just find the lyrics so nice?! No, im not hurting from a love I lost. It's just that, as you all know, I have this BIGGG thing for emo stuff. heh heh heh.

Anyways, Pastor Lee of Zion(?) church has given me the privilege(mom said its not considered a job) to play the piano every wednesdays, in the evening, and sundays from 10.am to 12a.m. Mom told me my pay's around 250 bucks. Which is enough to cover my dance fees and maybe a lil of shopping!

I'm not so sure if things are goin' my way this year, but I'm pretty sure as hell they didn't last year! But my point is I'm gonna start prayin' to god tho I'm not a christian, and hopefully He will feel my pain and hear my cries.
OH BTW, i can use the computer more often now that my dad's back from KL. If mommy says no, then ask daddy!
(:

2007-01-26T18:31:00.000+08:00

IM FREE!!!!

guess where I am? lol. at my mom's friends house! and their like 3 computers here, ohmyGAWD 3 OKAYE! and im blogging while her two boys are playin' maple and dota.
I forgot how i ended up here. oh wait. lemme rewind.
we meet in a shopping centre and my mom needs to leave for this barbeque and im like NOOOO! im sick! and i dont like that arrogant korean girl we're gonna have to keep smiling at. and my mom's friend suggests that i go to her house 'cause she has 3 computers and xbox and i nod my head vigourously and POOF im here.
HEE HEE HEE.
mom will probably be picking me up in 2 hours.
and the sad thing is that the ppl who i wanna chat with aren't online. And I realized chesna's been kinda moody these days, not talkin' much.
and i dont see joan much around anymore. actually, i dont see alot of the sec 4's. and i only see zann when she comes for drama. but surprisingly, i see mark and kimberly alot. ah well, got nothin' much to blog 'bout.
just this one conversation while was waitin' for a vacant cubicle with mom.

MOM: mei mei!
(I dont know she's referring to me so i dont respond)
MOM: meeeeiii meeeiii?
ME: are you talkin' to me?
MOM: yes mei mei. come hold my hand. ppl will think we're sisters!
ME: o.O I LOOK SO OLD MEH?! *stares murderously at her*
MOM: no but i look very young hee hee. "HEE HEE"

she freakin' had the audacity to go HEE HEE.
anyways, i had korean food for lunch! wheeee@@@

2007-01-25T19:57:00.000+08:00

HELP ME.

Okaye so i havent been blogging/online for a week 'cause parents think i shouldnt use the computer too much. mom said she wont allow me to use msn and friendster even tho i told her thats like, SOCIAL SUICIDE. so i guess im gonna blog at most, 2 times a week. sob sob.
anyways, I COOKED DINNER YESTERDAY! sweet sour pork, water crest, and steak(medium rare)! i think im gettin' into the the whole i-wanna-be-a-great chef illusion lol!

so the korean kids have left, which explains why im bored to death, and why the house is so freakin' quiet. seriously, the silence is killin' me. and my migraine is not helpin' at all.
ANDANDAND MUDEROUS CLASS DECO IS FINALLY OVER!

I realize im not as initiative as before. bahh, i guess i've lost all my confidence. now, raising up my hand to volunteer is not as easy as before. damn i dont understand why i had to go through that ass killin' ordeal. but then again, im glad i did.
ah well, shall end off with a shot of my table.

IM BRINING SEXYBACK OH YEAH!

2007-01-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

WAHHH.

- I didnt blog for a week like wth!
- mom put a password on the computer. and i can never guess it 'cause her all passwords are so random. E.G apple, missdaddy, glasses. SEE WHAT I MEAN!
- i love crapping with stella. she's like a secret holder mann.
-I've been gettin' migraines recently. their like REALLY bad.
- I fell asleep at 5 yesterday so i had to wake up at 4 in the morning to complete my homework. sheesh. i wanted to sleep.):
- i dont why, but someone is makin' me feel a mixture of emotions that i've never felt before. and no, im not tellin' you who.
- i really hope things go the way i want them to this year. 'cause last year, everythin' seemed to fly away when i wanted them to be still. ah well.
- I watched house of wax! super disgusting. but there's this hot guy. WHO DIED.
his name's jared padelecki.
- and i cant believe a fat boy likes siew jean! but its not like hunks fall in love with me lol.
- im startin' to loathe school. i know this sounds cliche but i miss faith one-one.
- i miss crapping to chesna. i miss seeing siew jean STRIDE around in class. i miss stella's crazy laughter. i miss eeching's weird jokes, and cooking with karen hahah.
- i dislike guys with freakin' high self esteem yes i know very random.
- drama is becoming a bitch!
- and i cant wait to meet the sec 1's.
- I love sundays. and i guess some of you know why. and i thank god for them.(:
- and i shall finish off by sayin' this. I BLOGGED! >.<

why oh why must things be so hard?

2007-01-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

will the pieces ever fit?

had loads of fun yesterday at parkway. maybe its the shopping LOL. siew jean and I bought some stuff. she bought this skirt and a hoodie which added up to 100bucks++. my stuff was just 72bucks if im not wrong. ohoh, i bought this horny beanie! hahah will blog it tml i guess. anyways, here are the pictures of the people i didnt know i loved and missed. alot.

Yummy, no? but i think this hairy wildberry sorta thing was served with it.

note says, alethea loves youjin. hahahh sweet pie alethea.

I know the spaghetti looks darn good, but focus on that chin!

Random.

random.

and random.

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall.
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart,
almost making me fall apart.
You pulled me under so I had to give in.
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done,
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

2007-01-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

School sucked real bad?

yeah. school sucked so bad i wanted to go home to mommy and daddy.
anyways, random time!

1) my co-form and form teacher arent exactly what i yearned for.
2) i think i miss miss johnson.
3) teachers think i tuck my shirt out alot when the prefects actually tuck out more than me.
4) the sec ones are really cute. totally innocent looking. but then again, dont judge a drink by its contents.
5) the people in my class are nice, and they're obedient and all. but they're just not as fun as the usual gang i hang out with. maybe they're not fun at all.
6) im mugging real hard now 'cause i wanna get into faith 3-1.
7) and to sum it all up, tho it's already a new year, sadly, my unsettled self is still swirling in 2006. ah well.

I guess what used to haunt me is startin' to haunt me again.
just that this time, its twice as painful.

2007-01-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

The end is where we begin.

Ah, so i guess school is startin' like tml. TOMORROW. sigh, its kinda hard to believe that one year passed in less than a blick of an eye. oh and i went to vivo today with chesna, siew jean and her lil' bro. someone else was supposed to tag along but some family matters got in the way.
oooh and i found my 'long lost skirt'.
it has this really classic, posh sorta look which makes me love it too much LOL. oh and if any of you ever eat at secret recipe, order the grilled chicken 'cause its the best dish there i've had so far. the mash potato isnt mashed at all and the sausages are SHRIVELLED muahahahah. no im not joking. they're old and wrinkly and all the cheese evaporated out of the holes in it.
anyways, replies to tags. heheh.

STELLA: i changed my skin for you already.(:
KIM: hey hi to you too! (x
JR: aww mann. sorry i linked you too late.
SIEW JEAN: hahah yeah he dances, and happy new year to you too! and like duh, for sure, i miss you too. LOL.
HANNAH: hey whats up! happy new year to you too <3!
WEI MEI: lol okaye i will relink you soon. happy new year btw.(:
CHESNA: lol sure thing babe. see you in school. i dont really miss you 'cause i see you like almost everyday haahh.

i thought i had gotten over everything.
i thought i had moved on.
and all of a sudden, everything's coming back to me.
everything's coming back to me now.

2006-12-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

okaye i got this random feeling in my stomach.
anyways, went out with joel, kaya and chesna.
ARCADE and LAN at bugis.
oh boy i <3>
since telling you 'bout our gaming journey would be BORR-ING,
I shall let the random feeling in my tummy take me where it wants to.

THEREFORE FOLKS, I PRESENT TO YOU......

*DRUM ROLLS*

BAI LING THE *BEEP*!@

opens eyes in awe O_o. oh she can do great things.

aiyoh.

there's nothing much interesting 'bout her.
Except that she doesnt have a good voice, maybe not even a voice at all!...but still has the audacity to sing on stage. and trust me or not, she actually enjoys it.
okaye let me get to my point.
its just my opinion and i dont mean to be mean,
but frankly speaking,
DONT YOU THINK JIA HUAN(faith 1-2 cheena one) LOOKS ABIT LIKE HER?
OR MAYBE EVEN EXACTLY.
oh and the photo of tara reid means nothing. just want you guys to see those boobs. sigh. Sometimes I look at Tara Reid and just wonder what happened in her childhood that made her think this whole plastic surgery thing was a good idea.

okaye y'know what? I dont wanna get too random.
things might get ugly if I do. *shrugs

2006-12-13T12:30:00.000+08:00

'Cause its so much more than a memory.

And even though the moment passed me by,
I still can't turn away.
'Cause all the dreams I never thought I'd lose,
Got tossed along the way.
And letters that I never meant to send
Got lost or thrown away.

2006-12-12T14:36:00.000+08:00

HOWDY!
Went out a few days ago to catch the holiday with joel, kah heng chesna, and lil brother. was an awesome show and jude law is really handsome, not to mention the sexy english accent he has! ohoh and i bought new shoes since i left my beloved addidas one on the bus >.<

Maybe some of you guys think its ugly but i got a thing for brown. hah.

We met this guy 'cause we played a car game with him.

Come to think of it, he looks a tad like chicken little.

Imitating the cheena girl! oh mann i feel so bitchy.

Chesna has freaky pouty lips. shrugs.

Anyways, 3 korean duddettes and 2 dudes are gonna be living in my house for ard 3 months. oh im never gonna be bored but i guess i wont be getting sufficient sleep hahah. i cant wait for the christmas promotions, ahh i gotta get that oh so dainty watch, or maybe its more of classic. oh gawd whatever, when the price drops it'll be mine! yay me.

Unbelieveably, school's starting in less than a month. Oh well, so i guess its bye bye late nights and hellooo homework! sigh. SIGH.

2006-12-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

I know you oh too well.

JOEL WHO'S SOOO COMPRESSED!

I recenntly discovered that joey loves to cam whore.

I love all of us. i really do hahah.

Anyways, yesterday's time was spent with mark, kah heng, joel, joey, chesna and me! and it was one helluva fun day 'cause i dont usually get to see them everyday. we had breakfast at macs, went bowling(oh i dont suck so bad leh!), and then cycled and took pictures at the jetty. so cool right! okaye whatever i think im high.

And i went home to change 'cause all of us wanted to go to parkway. played catching for awhile which was boring due to lack of ppl. they were giving out free starbucks coffee btw! anyways, chesna and i decided to buy this shirt with an awesome emo looking phrase on the front just not too much of the back. and i love that shop lots especially the owner. he's nice, sweet and good-looking.

Ah well, mark went to china. hope he doesnt become cheena ah beng! LOL.

2006-11-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

I AM DRAMA.

drama sessions have been active so alot of us have been spending loads of time together. actually you know what, loads of HAPPY time together. and one drama matey had been goin through a rough patch. some hurtful distorted gossip.
ah well, its all cool now anyways and now the whole drama club is closer to her and vice versa. i dare say that drama is the most united club. hahh i mean knock knock, do you see dance ppl ranging from sec 1 to sec 3 goin out together?
but thats not really important. i love the club, we all love each other, and thats what matters.
I know we're all gonna part someday. and hey....
love is painful, but in this case, its worth the risk to get hurt.

2006-11-28T21:05:00.000+08:00

PICTURESpicturesPICTURES!!!

oh mann i wasnt ready for this shot.

mark and kah heng <3!

im at nancy poo in beddy bye land!

MARK: "yes? how may i help you?" LOL!

It's not my fault i was stoned. X___X

2006-11-28T20:41:00.000+08:00

Camp pictures!@

oh its jesus! lol okay fine, its eeching. just that she's a tad bright.

Lala who's severly, hornyly intimidating. yeah!

DORM!!!!!

messy aye? hohoho.

.chesna wrote almost everything wild that went on during camp. which saves me from needing to typetypetypeandTYPE!

2006-11-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

AYE CAPTAIN <3!

camp was fun, dirty, and nasty. photos will come out later.

anyways, jeston is gonna quit doin fags and start working his ass off!
proud of you big boy!

sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
come to think of it, its true.(:

2006-11-14T20:20:00.000+08:00

To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything.

2006-11-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

just wait.

If only things could go back to the way they were before.
life would be so much easier.
but there're the pros and cons.
pros - i wont be living with the mistake i have been thus far.
cons - i will have to sacrifice alot.
Sometimes, you dont get what you want.
In fact, almost always.
And the only solution i guess, is to wait.
oh well, and thats what im doin.
waiting.

"sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same" - The Fray.

2006-11-07T15:38:00.000+08:00

the memories remain.

2006-11-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

Did I hear someone say a picture paints a thousand words? hmm.(:

2006-10-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

I'm a jar.
A bright pink jar.
With pictures of butterflies fluttering around on it.
Who was once full of darn scrumylicious cookies.
which tasted like,
tastes - undescribeable.
I was that bright pink jar.
who felt so great.
so great,
I would simply die with even more beautiful butterflies fluttering on me.
then those cookies were taken away.
and nobody,
nobody cared 'bout the bright pink jar no more.
'cause all those cookies were the jar.
no cookies meant no jar.
and im empty now.
dusty.
with dull butterflies.
which look like moths with holes.
left there to rot.
to crack.
to die.
but i wanna be strong.
I wanna freaking clean myself.
I want my butterflies to be lively.
but i dont know if i can do it.
All i feel is emptiness.
so something, someone,
fill me.
fill me by polishing me.
make my butties lively again.
and bake delicious, able-to-melt-you cookies,
and put them in me.
'cause all i am now.
is empty.
and all i need now.
is understanding.
care.
concern.
and love.
and make me shine.
again.
like before.
for forever.
<3

2006-10-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.

You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith.

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.

Most people turn to the things and people they can trust.

But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing.

It turns up when you don't really expect it.

It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed.

The castle, well, it may not be a castle.

And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now.

See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

look back, you were such an asshole.

'cause hey look now, its all over and the whole thing was like a passing cloud, right?

god, i feel like smacking you. ARGH!

2006-09-26T18:07:00.000+08:00

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

2006-09-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

oh mann.

ohhkaye john lam. look, i got your beanie with the visor already. if its not to your liking, SEND IT BACK, i'll give you another one. shipping is FOC. but im in serious need of my effing roxy shiiiiaatt. I WANT IT BY SATURDAY MANN. IM OUTTA CLOTHES.):

2006-09-16T19:37:00.000+08:00

I love you mommy.

its time to mug.

Which can be translated into 'its time to blog less'. right. okay.

SHERRYBABY.

Sherry Swanson returns home to New Jersey after serving a three year prison sentence. Eager to reestablish a relationship with her young daughter, and she soon discovers that coming back to the world she left behind is far more difficult than she had planned.

Haven't watched this movie and i doubt they would release it in singapore anytime this year.

I have this thing for family movies where they have so many problems to go through.

especially when its with a young pure kiddo. like when you want nothing but the best for your kid.

touches me big time.

the story may not be entirely original but I think that's a strength because it's the telling of the story through each of the characters that makes it an achievement. Seldom does a film have such strong protagonists and antagonists and allow viewers to really empathize with each.

the movie may not have a definitive ending, but i guess its more about the journey and the struggles therein, no?

i dont exactly love maggie gyllenhaal but she's like "the girl next door" type. Her choice of scripts are excellent, even in her smaller-type rolls.

and she's memorable.((:

oh, and if im not wrong. im i think im in love with robert hoffman.

which is totally irrelevant.

2006-09-06T20:34:00.000+08:00

Vertical horizon - The best i've ever had.

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

2006-09-06T19:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SIEW JEAN. ROUND ROUND. :D

Chesna came to my house early enough to start on our masterpiece.

unfortunately. the oven wasnt working too well.

so we went over to my neighbours apartment.

Introducing probably one of the cutest things on planet earth. TJ.

He's good looking you know. lovely eyes and all. pinches cheeks-.

These kids have an amazingly huge pile of toys. RAPE VICTIMS HAHHA.

More toys.

he made this huge attempt to put on a nice smile.

She'll have a really disciplined family when she ever has one.

HAW HAW. the evil lil thing eh.

And look at our master piece. it was all our work. 100%.

and a 100% delicacy too. ((: cheers//

TAG REPLIES.

jingyi: YES! we used to dislike each other. we dont hate, we're really nice people. well, im back now. and aww, i missed you too. ((:

Rach: lol. you're funny. and duh, we rocked the whole hall mann !

Chesna: yeah. i <3>

Siew jean: NO I DO NOT LOOK MENANCING. I LOOK DELICATE :X oh, happy birthday btw old fella. whoo. i feel g-r-e-a-t. heh heh.

Wei Mei and Yi enn: good boy and good girl. continue your uh, i dont know what. ahahahahha.

2006-09-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

SHE'S THE MAN.

guess what. daddy recently came back from kL with SHE'S THE MAN ! 3 CHEERS !<3
oh, and i've finally took the initiative to bake cakes. wait. scratch that. YUMMY CAKES. TEE HEEE HEEEE YEEE. and anyone whose birthday is coming, you can look forward to getting some of em.

i suddenly feel like killing myself. why?

2006-09-02T12:18:00.000+08:00

sweeet memories.

what is that thing. OHOH, its chesna. duh.

this person looks hot. till, you look under that cap.

yi enn budddieeee.

mahathir was talking bout how smooth his head was and something bout 360.

nice face.

get away from her you pedophile.

awww. he wants to smooch her?

come to think of it, i missed ya'll so much.

Acted on stage. it was awesome i tell you.

I felt like royalty you know ppl rushing here and there just to find the perfect make up for you. whoa.

ANYHOWS, went back to bedok green on Teachers day. we loitered around the school corridors and i oh, i spotted that shitball. didnt change that much though, she.

i saw the boys too.

damn what is wrong with this world. they're a dang much taller than me now. sigh. karma. KARMA!

So some of my friends and I went to LJS for lunch lol. We had chicken, fries, coke, oh, and bad service. some pictures to fancy. ohmygod, i missed all my peeps so much.

more than words can ever express.

2006-08-22T19:31:00.000+08:00

The cute seniors and the cute cute junior?
My master piece. its stupendous i swear.
I salute you mr jolly shandy! AMEN.

roar.

2006-08-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

Damn. Wtf is wrong with this fucking shithole school. and im swearing cus im PISSED. You do something wrong, face the miserable consequences. Why attempt to cheat in the first place? you know all eyes are attentively watching your every move, and you're stupidly stupid enough to cheat. and now you wanna whack the person who found out you cheated and reported you. Come to think of it, you're unfit. and a so fucking anal retentive mofo. I hope god made you infertile. and that your whole shitface will be filled with everlasting zits that nobody can see your damn eyes. not that anyone wants to anyway. seriously, I try to like this school, accept the fact that i can do nothing to go to another school. But its tough, especially with ppl who wont accept the fact that they fucked up. they friggin wanna hurt ppl cus they did the wrong thing. what right do they have?

UGH. SCREW THEM SON OF BITCHES AND DAUGHTERS OF SLUTS.

I'm pissed. but im still smiling. (:

thank you and no thank you.

2006-08-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

Though you've done hard shit to me, all of us.

I still thank you for the little things you did and said that changed my life. Ohhkaye. not drastically but still, you did. hah. I quit alot of stuff i shouldnt have had. But the words you said to me had great impact. And now, I've decided to do the lame stuff I used to do. I guess I kinda miss you. used to. Not now. Not anymore. But we're gonna see each other again. and I dont know if I can be nice to you like I used to. Call me super sensitive/ emo. But I dont care cus this is exactly how I feel.

OH WELL.

I've altered my skirt.

And I did OKAY for pft.

Not to mention I lied to get out of something.

I had to act as a gay during drama. was preetty exciting.

And now im off to play the piano cus I want to.

I'm slacking and im getting scared bout it.

Carrie underwood - Lessons learned

2006-08-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it doesn't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every start,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every start,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every start,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

you're body burns up when you see someone you're attracted to.

2006-08-02T18:56:00.000+08:00

- I got a chinese composition to complete. like wth.
- anyone wants me for thanksgiving? I come with a turkey!(:
- I had jolly shandy this morning. thanks siew jean.
- I've collected 2 sugestions only so far. SMACK all you ppl who didnt help me. LOL.
- are brown ink pens nice?
- I drink red ginseng everyday. HEH.
- Chesna and I didnt listen one bit in math class today. hahah.
- She has this scary zit on her cheek. but its SEXEH. wooot.
- I've just discovered the POWER of a MIRROR. heh heh.
- my pink octopus keychain hasn't been washed yet. so its dirty. yeah )):
- IM GONNA ROCK THE HOUSE TODAY.

Oh and do any of you you watch laguna beach?
lauren LC will be in a new series THE HILLS.
Damn, i so love reality shows.

Oh well, here are some pictures taken during class. HAHAH.

sweet ((:

2006-08-02T17:55:00.000+08:00

Potential Ah lians. just that im the nice one (X

This teacher is not very nice.

Ooooooh. spastically spastic. I LIKE.

OOOOOOOH. this is even more spastic. I LIKE MORE.

She looks like she wants to eat that umm, bunsen burner?

Heh. CAUGHT.

Chesna beat me. see my sad face?

Had to pretend i was listening to the teacher.

Piece of art.

2006-07-13T11:28:00.000+08:00

HELLO IM A HYPOCRITE!

AND IM SUFFERING FROM SEVERE PERIOD CRAMPS.

send me a get well card (and some cookies too!) :DD