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Just listen.


YOU JIN.L

26/7/1993.

geymeth secondary school.


runaway.


ALETHEA.
AMELIA.
ANNE.
ANTHONY.
APRIL.
CANDY.
CHESNA.
CINDY.
DANIEL.
EE CHING.
ETHEL.
HASLIYA.
HANNAH.
HEATHER.
HUO HUIQING.
IVAN.
JINGYI.
JANICE.
JUN XING.
JASMINE.
JESTON.
JING RONG.
KAH HENG.
KIM.
KAREN.
MARK.
MAXSWEN.
MELODY.
RACHEL(RAX).
SIEW JEAN.
STELLA.
WAN XIN.
WEI MEI.
XUANQI.
XAVIER.
XINYI.
YEO HUIQNG.
YING TIAN.
ZANN.


reading between the lines.




& the past is gone.


July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
March 2008





Thursday, March 29, 2007

Not a bed of roses.

So a few days ago I met alex at the swimming pool, and when I saw him, I really felt like avoiding him 'cause, chesna, you know how much he can talk and won't stop, that kinda thing right? BUT, he spotted me and started talking talking & TALKING.

Anyways, for you guys who don't know him, he's this austrian guy(not hott even though is a blonde. or isit brown?) who likes german opera, plants, fossils, chemistry and weird music. He's a very "prehistorical" guy who came up to me a couple of days ago and said "hey youjin, guess what? I'm more modern now. I actually like ABBA!" I tell you, I could have died right there, RIGHT THAT MOMENT.
Though I have to admit we did have a good time talking, mostly 'bout how we changed. This is all I can remember.

ALEX: y'know, you've really changed alot. you used to have this scary fringe hanging down your forehead completely covering your eyes and now you look, surprisngly, quite refined. Though it was quite recently that I saw you with black nails.

ALEX: And, though hard to admit, you're.....dainty now, and you actually give in!

ME: what?!

ALEX: yes. you're like oh is the water cold? plus, you're less tom-boyish. and now you actually comment on people. I mean though you used to praise me there would always be something negative in that praise.

I swear, I never knew I did that.

ALEX: oh, and you strike me as this british, or american kinda girl. You just lost that singaporean touch. When you speak its like this big gush of wind blowing me away. But somethings never change. You're still as pessimistic as ever.

ME: ah yes. somethings never change. YOU never change. And seriously, ABBA? move on alex, move on.


So yeah, I guess only others can really have the right to say whether you've changed or not 'cause we're pretty much all oblivious to the changes in our character.
Oh, and something happened last night that really freaked me out.

I wanted to watch that jesus video and all of the sudden my phoned hanged. I tried to switch it off but that didn't work either. so like I always do, I took out the freakin' battery and when I put it back guess what happened, MY PHONE COULD NOT WORK.

I repeated that action several times, but to no avail.

And apparently, I got really scared 'cause my phone wasn't exactly cheap.
Therefore, I did the most eccentric thing anyone would do. But then again, desperate times call for desperate measures.
So yeah, I sorta communicated with god. okay fine, I APOLOGISED.
"Dear heavenly father, I'm very sorry I'm very sorry! I promise I'll try not to watch that video again! So please please please make my phone work!"
THEN, I press the ON button and wait for 5 seconds and *POOF* my phone works!
So now I really think god was like tryin' to teach me a lesson. lol.
OH AND.

THANK YOU CHESNA, SIEW JEAN, AND ALETHEA FOR KEEPING ME COMPANY WHILE I WAITED FOR MY DAD TO PICK ME UP!

no one can replace you guys. hahah.<3



Youjin felt like updating @ 7:46 PM

BOO; Y



Thursday, March 22, 2007

Let's rewind.

Hmm. Alright, let's see.

21 JAN.
Drama went to CJC to rehearse 'cause SYF would be held there. I think the fact that our voices can echo through the theatre is just so awesome. And oh gawd, the lights are really cool too. All those shades of green blue and red. wahhh. When I came back to class many ppl asked where I went to and I got kinda fed up havin' to answer the same atuff all over again, that I told them I went to a hotel.
OH, which reminds me, camillia sent me this video via bluetooth to me and it's somethin' 'bout jesus christ and no it's not one bit holy(Y'know what I mean) so if you guys wanna watch it, tell me and I'll link you there or....there's always bluetooth right?

Anyways, I really hope ya'll buy the tix for arts night. Trust me, it's a performance you wouldn't wanna miss from drama. The play is damn touching. And yeah, I wanna see the soft side of you guys. heh heh.
I've got an offer, btw . The first 5 to buy from me get 4 bucks discount, and the next five get 2 bucks discount. Might sound little but then again, it's better than nothin' right? SO HURRY!

OHOH, I got to paint the planks today and at the same time get very high. 'cause not only was there paint, there were markers, and TURPENTINE.
*shows stoned face*

22 JAN.
No D & T today! WHOOOO!!! But there was chinese compo to do, which evidently sucked and sucks. Plus miss liping spends half an hour to tell us how we should write it. Ridiculous, no? And Mrs lian was absent too, so we had another free period! And rax was hyper today in the lab. But isn't she always? sigh.

Anyways, I was half dead during science. My eyes were like literally half open and I was sleeping while sitting up with a very good posture, and slowly my body swayed to my right and left before my head went crashing down on the table. I know! I looked so stupid okaye. Hopefully, no one saw.

Met drama after school and kah heng and I walked like jesus(in the video) while crossing the road. Hahaha was supersuper hilarious. And i think a few drama members, especially me and kah heng, kept on repeating the lyrics which made me crack up even more.
Oh, not to mention that I showed miss jean, my drama instructor the video.

ME: miss jean, can I show you somethin'? It's umm, a video.
MISS JEAN: Isit gross? *shows a mischievious yet disgusted face*
ME: NO. It's 'bout jesus.
MISS JEAN: *face brightens up* show me!

LOL? NO? LOL LARH! so adorable hahah. And then after that she shouted across the room to me and said ey can send to me via bluetooth? Then I nodded my head while laughing. heh. Anyways, that's 'bout all that I can remember. SO......


I WILL SURVIVE!


Youjin felt like updating @ 9:11 PM

BOO; Y



Friday, March 16, 2007


So I was goin' through my photo gallery, and was reminded of the times. When almost everythin' was different. Like now. And then this question found its way into my head and it's very cliche and might sound boring but I realized it could be kinda intriguing, at a different perspective. What will things be like in the near future?
Y'know, like what class I would be in, whether my friends would become a different person, or whether I would. And who would sit beside me in class, who's gonna hate me, who's gonna forget 'bout me and move on with their own life. Whether I'd be takin' triple science, or if I'm gonna be dating mR.niccce guy.
And the questions get uglier as you ponder, and go deeper with the possibilties.
Who knows, you might loose your friends or friendships may get burned on the sides. Or we'll probably turn into egoistical bitches/backstabbers/poseurs. And then we start to be very careful in the steps we take, in fact, sometimes TOO careful and we end up in the ditch in a somewhat miserable state.
Yeah, sometimes holding on too tightly is worse than not holding on at all.
And what if you don't get what you want? In fact, what if you get the things you DON'T want? What if the things that were made were signed, sealed and delievered and you could do NOTHIN' to get it back or change it?
I dunno, I guess its just, weirdly scary, and tragic.
It's just scary how one tiny change can result in a huge difference.
Ah well, I just pray that everythin' goes the way it should be. As long as we don't cry buckets or smoke weed lol.
I never knew you came with a package deal. If I did, I wouldn't have bought you or even went close to you, for that matter. But now, I guess I'm holding on by lettin' go of you. It's hard, but I'll figure it out. And with sincerity, I bid you farewell. Trust me, it wasn't easy to endure the hurt you unintentionally made me go through. It never was.


Youjin felt like updating @ 8:50 PM

BOO; Y



Monday, March 12, 2007

Hard love.


So daniel and I were talking 'bout love, in a way, and 'bout friendships.
Not good friendships, but ones which are kinda strained, and ones which are on the verge of becoming strained. And I guess that's made me acutely aware of things I was once oblivious to. Or just more aware, maybe.
Daniel said somethin' that really clinged onto my mind 'cause I could never admit how true it was.
sometimes when you pass by this lost friend, you want to say hi, but you just can't, and you walk by like strangers. it does happen.

Which makes me think of the times where I smile or laugh just to masquerade all the hurt I feel. It might make me seem strong 'cause I'm not vulnerable on the outside, but I guess all it means is that I'm simply a coward or a liar. But then again, things are never easy right? And a life with no problems or hurt, practically isn't that much of a life.

Ah well, people keep on telling me our friendship is becoming strained, but on the contrary, I actually think that the fact that we're in two different classes are making us closer, and making us treasure each other more. I know people may call me miao miao and all that but I guess I'm your miao miao. yeapp, yours. And pardon me, but I'm feeling incredibly emo right now
.

Anyways, recently I read this book, it's called hard love. And I managed to dig these lyrics and phrases out from it. And guess what, they actually ring true.

"natural elements become more important to you, people including yourself can never be as trustworthy as nature 'cause people don't understand how much they need each other."

Yes, it's hard love, but it's love all the same,
Not the stuff of fantasy but more than just a game.
And the only kind of miracle that's worthy of the name,
For the love that heals our lives is mostly hard love.


Youjin felt like updating @ 8:58 PM

BOO; Y



Sunday, March 11, 2007

HAHAH?


AH! siew jean finally passed me the photo. One of my favourites@!


Youjin felt like updating @ 1:10 PM

BOO; Y



Saturday, March 10, 2007

I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand.

Sec two camp was more like a jian-fei competition, seriously. Had to like run to and fro and I could feel my fats LITERALLY jiggling. What I loved best was of course, the fun-filled bus rides. And 2-1 was like throwing insensitive remarks at one another. All those boy-girl shit mann. I guess sometimes people are just so hyper, they don't know how insensitive they can be. And that includes me as well.
Whatever.

The bus rides were still awesome. Woonlynn, ying tian, ethel, xinyi, huiqing and I set at the back in one straight row laughing and all. Damnit, they kept calling me miao miao with this chinese touch to it. shrugs. And I remember vividly that huiqing pulled my sleeve down that I could see half my bra. And she claimed she'd kiss and rub my head if I ever had depression and shaved my head like britney. poor britney.

Blasting of the rocket was pretty tedious. And you know that orange cap, aka head of the rocket? Xinyi claimed it was her breast. Therefore, whenever I had a chance, I would BOOBnap it. And I scared her when all the lights were out. hahah, mann do I loooove to hear her scream. laugh. screamlaugh. lol whatever you call it. haouhuoaupdhupfsaugfsyg.

Oh, and changi airport tour was pretty cool too. We kept on making jokes 'bout vibrators. eek. And I ate a tad too much burger king like wth. Thank god someone jio-ed me to go ecp with em'.

That's 'bout all that I can remember now. There's definitely more stuff that went on but I'm almost entirely wiped out. bah.

And I was late for drama! Could tell that miss khek was pretty pissed. Sorry! But I really needed my lollipop. heh. Btw, I think I was totally freaked out when I saw my progress report. So freakin' atrocious.

Alright. Recently, life has been like a movie. Y'know, like I'm sittin' on the sofa, chewing my popcorn, yeah, watching others lives passing me by like a train. It's like, I can see what's goin on but they can't 'cause they're in the dark. And it's kinda sad y'know, seeing all those stuff happening to them with them not knowing a thing.

And in the end, the truth comes tumbling down on them like a church bell on a caterpillar. Argh I dunno, it's just, simply sad watching, in detail, them lose all the things they had, drop after drop.
I wonder how many knives it takes to pierce you before you become numb to it all. Immune to pain, if that's how you wanna put it.
Ah well.


Keep holding on.
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Just stay strong.
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you.
There's nothing you could say,
Nothing you could do,
There's no other way when it comes to the truth.
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.


Youjin felt like updating @ 8:47 PM

BOO; Y