'Cause the scars run so deep.


Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

[Chorus]
'Cause I
Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.
I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

[Chorus]

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience.


c'mon, don't you just find the lyrics so nice?! No, im not hurting from a love I lost. It's just that, as you all know, I have this BIGGG thing for emo stuff. heh heh heh.

Anyways, Pastor Lee of Zion(?) church has given me the privilege(mom said its not considered a job) to play the piano every wednesdays, in the evening, and sundays from 10.am to 12a.m. Mom told me my pay's around 250 bucks. Which is enough to cover my dance fees and maybe a lil of shopping!

I'm not so sure if things are goin' my way this year, but I'm pretty sure as hell they didn't last year! But my point is I'm gonna start prayin' to god tho I'm not a christian, and hopefully He will feel my pain and hear my cries.
OH BTW, i can use the computer more often now that my dad's back from KL. If mommy says no, then ask daddy!
(:

IM FREE!!!!

guess where I am? lol. at my mom's friends house! and their like 3 computers here, ohmyGAWD 3 OKAYE! and im blogging while her two boys are playin' maple and dota.
I forgot how i ended up here. oh wait. lemme rewind.
we meet in a shopping centre and my mom needs to leave for this barbeque and im like NOOOO! im sick! and i dont like that arrogant korean girl we're gonna have to keep smiling at. and my mom's friend suggests that i go to her house 'cause she has 3 computers and xbox and i nod my head vigourously and POOF im here.
HEE HEE HEE.
mom will probably be picking me up in 2 hours.
and the sad thing is that the ppl who i wanna chat with aren't online. And I realized chesna's been kinda moody these days, not talkin' much.
and i dont see joan much around anymore. actually, i dont see alot of the sec 4's. and i only see zann when she comes for drama. but surprisingly, i see mark and kimberly alot. ah well, got nothin' much to blog 'bout.
just this one conversation while was waitin' for a vacant cubicle with mom.

MOM: mei mei!
(I dont know she's referring to me so i dont respond)
MOM: meeeeiii meeeiii?
ME: are you talkin' to me?
MOM: yes mei mei. come hold my hand. ppl will think we're sisters!
ME: o.O I LOOK SO OLD MEH?! *stares murderously at her*
MOM: no but i look very young hee hee. "HEE HEE"


she freakin' had the audacity to go HEE HEE.
anyways, i had korean food for lunch! wheeee@@@

HELP ME.

Okaye so i havent been blogging/online for a week 'cause parents think i shouldnt use the computer too much. mom said she wont allow me to use msn and friendster even tho i told her thats like, SOCIAL SUICIDE. so i guess im gonna blog at most, 2 times a week. sob sob.
anyways, I COOKED DINNER YESTERDAY! sweet sour pork, water crest, and steak(medium rare)! i think im gettin' into the the whole i-wanna-be-a-great chef illusion lol!

so the korean kids have left, which explains why im bored to death, and why the house is so freakin' quiet. seriously, the silence is killin' me. and my migraine is not helpin' at all.
ANDANDAND MUDEROUS CLASS DECO IS FINALLY OVER!

I realize im not as initiative as before. bahh, i guess i've lost all my confidence. now, raising up my hand to volunteer is not as easy as before. damn i dont understand why i had to go through that ass killin' ordeal. but then again, im glad i did.
ah well, shall end off with a shot of my table.

IM BRINING SEXYBACK OH YEAH!

WAHHH.

- I didnt blog for a week like wth!
- mom put a password on the computer. and i can never guess it 'cause her all passwords are so random. E.G apple, missdaddy, glasses. SEE WHAT I MEAN!
- i love crapping with stella. she's like a secret holder mann.
-I've been gettin' migraines recently. their like REALLY bad.
- I fell asleep at 5 yesterday so i had to wake up at 4 in the morning to complete my homework. sheesh. i wanted to sleep.):
- i dont why, but someone is makin' me feel a mixture of emotions that i've never felt before. and no, im not tellin' you who.
- i really hope things go the way i want them to this year. 'cause last year, everythin' seemed to fly away when i wanted them to be still. ah well.
- I watched house of wax! super disgusting. but there's this hot guy. WHO DIED.
his name's jared padelecki.
- and i cant believe a fat boy likes siew jean! but its not like hunks fall in love with me lol.
- im startin' to loathe school. i know this sounds cliche but i miss faith one-one.
- i miss crapping to chesna. i miss seeing siew jean STRIDE around in class. i miss stella's crazy laughter. i miss eeching's weird jokes, and cooking with karen hahah.
- i dislike guys with freakin' high self esteem yes i know very random.
- drama is becoming a bitch!
- and i cant wait to meet the sec 1's.
- I love sundays. and i guess some of you know why. and i thank god for them.(:
- and i shall finish off by sayin' this. I BLOGGED! >.<


why oh why must things be so hard?

will the pieces ever fit?

had loads of fun yesterday at parkway. maybe its the shopping LOL. siew jean and I bought some stuff. she bought this skirt and a hoodie which added up to 100bucks++. my stuff was just 72bucks if im not wrong. ohoh, i bought this horny beanie! hahah will blog it tml i guess. anyways, here are the pictures of the people i didnt know i loved and missed. alot.

Yummy, no? but i think this hairy wildberry sorta thing was served with it.

note says, alethea loves youjin. hahahh sweet pie alethea.

I know the spaghetti looks darn good, but focus on that chin!

Random.

random.

and random.


I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall.
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart,
almost making me fall apart.
You pulled me under so I had to give in.
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done,
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

School sucked real bad?

yeah. school sucked so bad i wanted to go home to mommy and daddy.
anyways, random time!

1) my co-form and form teacher arent exactly what i yearned for.
2) i think i miss miss johnson.
3) teachers think i tuck my shirt out alot when the prefects actually tuck out more than me.
4) the sec ones are really cute. totally innocent looking. but then again, dont judge a drink by its contents.
5) the people in my class are nice, and they're obedient and all. but they're just not as fun as the usual gang i hang out with. maybe they're not fun at all.
6) im mugging real hard now 'cause i wanna get into faith 3-1.
7) and to sum it all up, tho it's already a new year, sadly, my unsettled self is still swirling in 2006. ah well.


I guess what used to haunt me is startin' to haunt me again.
just that this time, its twice as painful.

The end is where we begin.

Ah, so i guess school is startin' like tml. TOMORROW. sigh, its kinda hard to believe that one year passed in less than a blick of an eye. oh and i went to vivo today with chesna, siew jean and her lil' bro. someone else was supposed to tag along but some family matters got in the way.
oooh and i found my 'long lost skirt'.
it has this really classic, posh sorta look which makes me love it too much LOL. oh and if any of you ever eat at secret recipe, order the grilled chicken 'cause its the best dish there i've had so far. the mash potato isnt mashed at all and the sausages are SHRIVELLED muahahahah. no im not joking. they're old and wrinkly and all the cheese evaporated out of the holes in it.
anyways, replies to tags. heheh.

STELLA: i changed my skin for you already.(:
KIM: hey hi to you too! (x
JR: aww mann. sorry i linked you too late.
SIEW JEAN: hahah yeah he dances, and happy new year to you too! and like duh, for sure, i miss you too. LOL.
HANNAH: hey whats up! happy new year to you too <3!
WEI MEI: lol okaye i will relink you soon. happy new year btw.(:
CHESNA: lol sure thing babe. see you in school. i dont really miss you 'cause i see you like almost everyday haahh.

i thought i had gotten over everything.
i thought i had moved on.
and all of a sudden, everything's coming back to me.
everything's coming back to me now.